A SiriusRemus songfic
by alternativelyspliced
Summary: Using the song 'Something to Say'. My first songfic, please tell me how I did.


'**Something to Say' – Toad the wet sprocket** ***Setting is shortly after the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament and rise of Voldemort.  Some bits from OotP, but I don't think anything really given away.  Just a little thing that popped in my head when listening to this great song.*** 

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He's got a thing about losing control 

_Carries it a mile just to see how far he'll go_

_And he brushes up his chops as he tries to fake a smile_

_A friend indeed but what I need's someone who'll stay a while_

_Someone to stay a while_

Two men sat in a small kitchen in a house in the middle of nowhere in the early hours of the morning.  One had made a pot of tea and the two were drinking in silence.  The other man decided to break the silence.

"I like being back here in your house, Moony.  You don't mind harboring a convict do you?" he was smirking over his cup of tea.

"Not at all, Padfoot old friend.  So, how are you?"

"Fine, fine.  Just worried about Harry.  He's been through so much and I had to leave to find everyone.  You should have seen the look on his face when Albus told me to go find 'the old crowd'.  It was awful.  But, yeah, I'm fine, besides that."  Sirius put a smile on his face to be more convincing.

  __

_You can bend my ear_

_We can talk all day_

_Just make sure that I'm near_

_When you've really got something to say_

Remus answered, "Good.  You know I worry about you.  I always have, and you can tell me anything.  We haven't had a good talk for so many years."  He could tell that there was so much going on in his friends mind.  He couldn't imagine spending that much time in Azkaban with dementors around day and night.  He wished Sirius would talk about it, but knew enough not to push.  That would only make him sink deeper into himself.

Sirius looked thoughtfully at Remus, "Yeah, it's been too long.  I didn't know how long I was in… there.  Not until I saw that newspaper."  His eyes were becoming more hollow as he remembered a time too terrible to imagine.

Remus noticed and tried to pull his friend out of that place, "Padfoot, Sirius?  Would you like anything to eat?"

Sirius shook slightly and seemed to see his friend again, "What?  Oh, no thanks, Moony.  I'm alright.  Maybe I'll have a sandwich later."

"Alright.  The extra room is all set up for you whenever you want to go to bed."

"I-I'd rather stay up…"  Remus noticed the dark circles under his friend's eyes and wondered when was the last time he slept.

_He drops hints but he won't tell you what's really on his mind_

_But I know if I look that it's easy to find_

_And he's got a way with his anger and they way he lets it show_

_Like the smoldering smoke when the fire's left the coals_

_When the fire has left the coals_

Remus spoke before leaving the room, "There's some dreamless sleep potion in the bathroom.  I'll be in my room if you need anything."

The next morning Remus woke to find Sirius in a deep sleep and some of his potion gone.  He smiled to himself and remained as quiet as possible to let his friend rest.

Sirius entered the kitchen smiling, "Good morning, Moony."

"Morning.  Sleep well?"

"Best in years."  He suddenly looked downcast, "I wish I didn't have to stay at headquarters.  I gave it to the Order.  I wasn't supposed to be going back there to live."

"I know, Padfoot.  But I'll come with you.  I'll stay there as long as you have to.  I won't leave you in that house alone.  I should get some more dreamless sleep potion before we go."

_You can take me down_

_To show me your home_

_Not the place where you live_

_But the place where you belong_

_You can bend my ear_

_We can talk all day_

_Just make sure I'm around_

_When you've finally got something to say_

_And what are you meaning by _

_"I don't deserve this life?"_

"Moony, you're too good to me after what I did.  I don't deserve to live like this. The last few months in that cave eating rats was what I deserve."  Sirius had a dejected look on his face.  

Remus looked at him, "Sirius, you deserve so much more than what's been given to you.  You didn't do anything.  It is NOT your fault that James and Lily died.  You have to know that.  You are a kind, caring person who deserves to have a life and friends and family.  Don't ever say you deserve any less than the best you can have."

Sirius turned away and muttered, "it's just so  hard."

"I know it is.  That's why I'm here.  I won't let it be hard for you alone.  Whatever you want or need to talk about, I'm here.  You can come to me or call on me at any time."

Sirius looked up at his friend.  How did Remus always make him feel important?  How did he always have a way to make everything seem a little less terrible?  Even when he's busy?  He's got work to do for the Order, but he still makes time for his lost friend.  Someday… someday he'll tell him about prison, about how it just about killed him, about how he wasn't sure he had escaped with his sanity as everyone he knew assumed.  He was sure that if anything happened to Remus or Harry any shred of sanity he had left would be broken in an instant.  Someday.

_his door is always open and he's always got the time_

_to give a little something even though he get behind_

_and your trips become his and your lives are entwined_

_but like the horse with the junkie it's all in your mind_

_it's all in your mind_

Remus and Sirius were the only ones staying at Number 12 Grimmauld Place that night.  Sirius woke up screaming and Remus was next to his bed gently shaking his shoulders.  The hollow deadened look in Sirius's eyes made tears well up in Remus's.  Just hours before they had been laughing and joking in the kitchen.

"Sirius.  Padfoot.  You're in your house.  You're safe.  Everyone else is safe too.  It's ok."  Remus was trying to calm Sirius.

Sirius looked at him as he finally awoke from his nightmare.  Remus was very pale, last night had been a transformation night.  Sirius knew Remus must still be in pain and feeling sick from that, but here he was, trying to comfort Sirius from a nightmare.  His friend was just too good.  There was no other explanation for it.

"Thanks, Moony.  I'm ok now.  Just a dream.  You should get back to bed.  You must feel terrible."

"Padfoot, what was it about?" Remus asked tentatively.

"Nothing important.  You don't want to know.  Merlin, I hate this house.  I wish we could stay at yours."

Remus knew he was just changing subjects and didn't want to talk about his nightmare.  It had happened every night for the past two weeks.  Remus figured probably longer than that, but he'd only been with Sirius recently.  

"I know, Padfoot.  I do have a more comfortable kitchen."  Remus smiled at Sirius and received one in return.  Remus knew that someday Sirius would tell him what went on in his nightmares and on those occasions when Sirius would drift off to some unknown place only the back of his mind knew.  Perhaps Remus would tell Sirius everything on his mind also.  Someday.

_you can take me down_

_to show me your home_

_not the place where you live_

_but the place where you belong_

_you can bend my ear_

_we can talk all day_

_just make sure you're around_

_when I've finally got something to say_


End file.
